Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
