He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
