Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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