I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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