Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize