i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
