U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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