Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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