BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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