it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
