Swine flu is the new snow day.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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