Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
