I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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