I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I understand Curling. That high.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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