Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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