I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
