Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
