There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
