He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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