When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
