Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
