I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
