That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
