I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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