problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
