I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You're like the curious george of whores
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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