His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
