on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
