i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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