ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
it's like iHOP with fire
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
