I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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