I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
