No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
