I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just tell him i said nine months
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
