I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
