Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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