Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
