false alarm. still invincible.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize