dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
