I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize