i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
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Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.