He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children