The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I would ride that face into the sunset