he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements