shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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