I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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