Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
