Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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