my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
