Dual....:-)
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize