It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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