My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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