...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Randomize
