I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
