Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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