Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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