Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
