Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
