This house was built for laser tag.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
