Im at strip club and am horny
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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