saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
