Soap is not a condiment
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
