I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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