Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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