He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
