id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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